How to Manage a Divorce: Understanding the Misalignment of Interests

Divorce is one of the most difficult and expensive processes most people will ever face. While the law provides a framework, the actual path a divorce takes is heavily influenced by the professionals involved — particularly divorce attorneys. Having practiced law for years and watched countless clients go through the process, I have come to a sobering conclusion: in many cases, the financial interests of divorce attorneys and their clients are misaligned.

The Misalignment of Interests

• For most clients, the best outcome is a quick, fair settlement. A shorter process reduces stress, preserves financial resources, and helps both spouses move on.

• For many attorneys, however, the financial incentive runs the other way. A drawn-out fight, full of motions, hearings, and trial preparation, is where attorneys make the most money.

This does not mean divorce attorneys are inherently unethical. It does mean that the very structure of the system creates a built-in tension: the longer and more contentious the case, the higher the legal fees.

Why Mediation Should Come First

Because of this misalignment, my first recommendation for most couples is to pursue mediation with an experienced mediator before hiring divorce counsel. A good mediator can guide both spouses toward agreement on major issues — custody, property division, support — without the adversarial posture that comes with litigation. In most situations the law is actually quite clear about how property should be divided. Often, even after a long drawn out litigation the final result is almost exactly what a fair reading of the law would have come to in any case, minus the massive legal expenses of course!

Add to that the fact that mediation is often faster, less expensive, and less destructive to ongoing relationships (which is especially critical if children are involved).

If You Must Hire a Divorce Attorney

Sometimes mediation is not possible. In those cases, hiring an attorney becomes necessary. But there are ways to realign incentives so that your lawyer’s interests don’t diverge too far from your own:

1. Hire for Settlement, Not Trial
   When you retain a divorce attorney, make it clear you are engaging them for the purpose of reaching a settlement. They are to use their expertise to negotiate and resolve the matter efficiently and timely.

2. Set a Time Frame
   Specify in writing that if the case is not settled within a defined period, or if it appears headed toward trial, you will retain different counsel for the trial.

3. Why This Works
   This arrangement flips the incentive structure. Your attorney knows they only get paid if they achieve a resolution, and they will not be rewarded for dragging the case toward trial.  You could even added a bonus payment to the attorney if the time frame is met.

Ironically, many divorce attorneys will refuse to work under these terms. To me, that refusal simply underscores the point: their real motivation is not always settlement. If an attorney balks at aligning their financial interest with yours, that is a red flag worth considering carefully.

Final Thoughts

Divorce is always painful, but it doesn’t have to be financially devastating. By recognizing the built-in misalignment of interests, you can take proactive steps to manage the process. Start with mediation whenever possible. If you must hire an attorney, engage them for settlement only, with clear boundaries on their role.

This approach won’t remove all the difficulty of divorce, but it will help protect you from the unnecessary damage of a system that too often rewards conflict over resolution.

Lodmell & Lodmell, PC is one of the nations leading Asset Protection Law Firms and the creators of The Bridge Trust®.  L&L serves clients nationwide and may be reached at [e-mail] or 602-230-2014.